Hate is a big word that we need to be careful of, not to just throw it around to our loved ones. Hate is defined as to have a strong aversion about something or someone. It is associated with emotions on how we feel. There are positive and negatives characteristics to hate. To me it’s something you cannot stand, you despise and you don’t want anything to do with it, right? How come then it is easy for us to throw it to our loved ones. I’m talking about family love and respect. One cannot say I hate my mother because she redirected you from the wrong choices you make. You cannot say I hate my father because he told you not to hang around with bad crowd or I hate my brother/sister for just inconclusive reason, that’s negative hate. Hating a negative behavior doesn’t mean they hate you. We often throw that word to our loved ones not realizing the impact it makes to that individual. The Word of God says death and life are in the power of the tongue – Proverbs 18:21. Hate can be in a form of behavior doing cruelty and evil deeds. God wants us to speak and walk in love not hate. Today I want to focus on verbally using the word “hate’ to our loved ones.
Let’s look at what the bible says about hate. Its ok to hate things that are contrary to the Word of God and that is positive hate. The Word of God tells us to overcome evil with good, to love our enemies and keep doing good. Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who prosecute you. Proverbs 6:16-19 There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to Him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
I remember when my son and nephew (whom I always refer to as my son as well because he is my twin sister’s son anyway they all call us moms) were very young at the time. They have two years apart difference in age. They would play together and have fun as any kid will do. One time one of them busted into tears crying saying “I hate my brother, he’s mean to me”. Then took a moment with him to find out what mean thing the brother did. Of course, only to find out they were fighting over toys, on who plays what longer instead of sharing. We had to sit them down and told them of course you will annoy each other it’s normal you are siblings (per my family) but never use the word hate to each other. We told them their lips should practice to use loving words. In their young minds I know it could be difficult for them to understand it but it starts at the young age to implement positive values that would carry them to their adulthood.
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” – Nelson Mandela
Yes, practice to use loving words around your family. No matter how you frustrated or how distasteful a behavior is, don’t use the word hate. Most of the times we take advantage with our family members thinking it’s a right thing to do, no it is not. It starts at home going to the outside to live positive and to spread love not hate. I read an article of a teenager seeking help on how to deal with anger and hate. The teenager was saying she hates her own behavior towards her family members especially her mother. She is rude and very disrespectful to both and often times throw “I hate you” to them. That was a big step for her to seek help, I applaud her for that even if I do not know her. Rather seek professional help than to make that kind of behavior/attitude norm in your life. It’s not physically, mentally and spiritually healthy for you and for the people around you
In closing; next time take a pause and think if it’s worth it to say “I hate you” when you having a confrontation with your family. Show love to your family and tell them you love them.